Jealousy

Oh how wrong can you be?
Oh to fall in love was my very first mistakeH
ow was I to know I was far too much in love to see?
Oh jealousy look at me now
Jealousy you got me somehow
You gave me no warning
Took me by surprise
Jealousy you led me on
You couldn’t lose you couldn’t fail
You had suspicion on my trail

How how how all my jealousy
I wasn’t man enough to let you hurt my pride
Now I’m only left with my own jealousy

Oh how strong can you be
With matters of the heart?
Life is much too short
To while away with tears
If only you could see just what you do to me
Oh jealousy you tripped me up
Jealousy you brought me down
You bring me sorrow you cause me painJealousy when will you let go?
Gotta hold of my possessive mind
Turned me into a jealous kind

How how how all my jealousy
I wasn’t man enough to let you hurt my pride
Now I’m only left with my own jealousy
But now it matters not if I should live or die’
cause I’m only left with my own jealousy

(Jealousy – Queen 1978)

Jealousy, a nature of all human beings. Perfectly understandable in acceptable portions. But why is it when it comes to relationships, you just forget your quota and started to freak out at one single tiny thing that turns out to be a pickle in your way.
Trust is the key to a long lasting relationships. But how can you expect people to trust you when you don’t trust them first? It’s a two way street, isn’t it?

So… What now?

Going back home...

Okay… Singapore is famous for its Lion statue and of course, its huge malls. Bottom line, it’s heaven for the shoppaholics. This morning we (finally…) got around to walk end to end the Orchard road. Good thing we didn’t do it any sooner, or else, I will probably have to max out my credit card limit (something I don’t wanna do…) on the souvenirs. K and I, being shoppaholics ourselves, were tempted to try every single malls there is, but we had to restrain ourselves from the luxury, since we only had very little time, and money (again with the money issue). However, we did get to visit some of the biggest malls there is in Orchard.

Takashimaya - Ngee Ann City Mall. Much like Plaza Senayan of Jakarta, the branded items on sale, and still we frowned to see the price tags.
Lucky Mall. The low end mall where your money actually CAN buy something. So this is where we decide to spend some money on the souvenirs.
Centerpoint. Finally, we wrapped up at Robinson. More stuff to buy and means more luggage to carry, sigh…

1pm.
K performed her outstanding skills in packing. We only had less than 30mins to pack and check out. The plane leaves at 5pm but we want to check in early (and perhaps shop some more – again???).

Finally, It's 3.03pm, (still) Singapore time. Am standing at the free internet hub at Changi airport, waiting for the boarding call. Trying to savor the last moments we have in Singapore, "the city". Taking as many mental pictures as possible, so that I can store it up in my memory.

K and I had fun or what... Yep. Weekend in Singapore? Well, I say, weekend getaway never felt better...

See you again!!!

Singapore and Its Attraction

Got up early. It’s still dark, but the watch says 7.30am. Back home, I would just grab my pillow and turn back in, and probably steal another extra 15minutes of sleep. But that’s not the case today. With those sore legs and aching feet from last night’s marathon, we forced ourselves to climb out of bed and hit the shower. Went down for breakfast (big one) and 1 hour later we were off for the day.

10am (+/-).
Singapore Philatelic Museum. This is one of the sites on our list. There were so many things we discovered about stamps that were never attractive to us before. Well, turned out, philately IS a serious hobby. We even met a group from Jakarta who went all the way to Singapore to attend Stamps Exhibition in Suntec City Mall, later tonight. As for us, well, that’s not why we came though. Just thought to visit some of the interesting museums we never go to back home.

11am (+/-).
Asian Civilization Museum. Being an Asian, this is one of the sites we wanted to go to. And in fact, there were so many interesting things we found out there. Did you know that Singaporean people are mostly Peranakan (the term for cross Chinese – Malay)? Well, in fact, they are. Something that still lingers in my mind, with just S$3 admission fee, they sure manage to have a well maintained museum.

12am (+/-).
Singapore Art Museum. Not too far from Asian Civilization Museum. But since we made a pact to go on foot, everything seemed a bit far. Thank goodness for the clean air. Once we arrived in the museum, art enveloped us almost immediately. They put up mostly paintings. And they had around 10 galleries, all about paintings, sculpture, and 3 dimension computer graphics.
I cannot paint. I cannot even draw a full circle without any tools. I don’t understand paintings. But I truly felt the greatness of these artists’ work. Mr. Wu Tsai Yen did finger paintings and they’re bloody beautiful. Tan Swie Han, another artist, also held an exhibition called “Embracing Infinity”.
“A book of fiction may be translated into a theater performance, a song sung into a sculpture and calligraphy work done with every stroke as a dance step” (From musical recording-performed by Kee Chee Koon on the Ding Xiang Zither).

1pm (+/-).
Next stop, Chimes. An old covenant turned into restaurants and bars, located just near the City Hall. The ceiling of the cathedral is very beautiful. Too bad it was closed for public, otherwise, perhaps we would have spent like rolls of films there. Anyway, not so long after, we were back to the hotel for a shower (we were drenched in sweat from all the walking). Man, I love ‘em MRT things, they just make your life a lot easier…

3pm (+/-).
Chinatown. From the very first day we got here, I’ve been whining to K that we go to here (me and my Chinese obsession…). So, time came for me to visit a true Chinatown.

Chinese Heritage Center. Never in my life had I imagined living in a house with 7 other families, and just in the next room, I find brothel house (or room to be exact). But that’s what happened in the early days when Chinatown was first built. In a 3 level house you could find 8 families, 1 tailor workshop, a brothel house, 1 TV room, 1 restaurant and a market, 1 bookstore, etc.
Tears almost trickled down had I not held them up. Walking out of the house I suddenly felt so lucky to be born in this age where I don’t have to share my room with 3 other families.

5.30pm (+/-).
Another trip through City Link Mall and rest our feet at Starbucks in Raffles City. The coffee is just about the same with any other Starbucks all around the world. But somehow, I felt that this time Iced Cappuccino tastes different. But then again, perhaps it’s just the atmosphere.

The night is still young. Especially since this is Saturday night. But this time, we call it a day. And we got back to the hotel a while later. It hurts when your soul still cries for more but your feet screams for you to stop.

Anyway, today has been great (and tiring). And we still have tomorrow to do our shopping…

Arrival...

So it's 12.50 Singapore time. Just landed safely half hour ago.

Took the MRT from Changi station, good God, this place sure is neat. We departed at Somerset station and walked to our hotel (Grand Central), on Orchard Road. Trying to check in but since the late check out is around 2pm, the housekeeping people is still fixing up the room, from whatever was left behind by the previous hotel occupant. Okay, the plan today is to accompany K for her interview. Wish I could get myself one of those overseas job interviews. Good luck, K, hope you get the job… (so that your dear friends can come and visit free of fiscal, hehehe… Naah, if it weren't for her, I probably wouldn't have the chance to visit here).

3pm (+/-).
The job interview was in Prince Edward Road. It’s supposed to be one of those Media clusters. Place is not too far from Tanjong Pagar station, so not long after the interview was finished, we took another MRT train. Hmm, beginning to get the hang of it. Had to adjust since it’s a lot different from our Jabotabek trains)…

5pm-8pm (+/-).
Went back to the hotel and get all set with our gear. It looks like a tough day ahead of us.
First stop: Fountain of Wealth. The famous fountain is said to be the biggest fountain in the biggest mall in South East Asia. So we checked it out. And I’m glad that we did. It was huge, and very beautiful, even in the daylight. I can only imagine when it gets dark, and all the spotlights are beamed towards the falling water, and to top it all, it sings.
Second: City Link Mall. Started out as an underpass but it seemed to have undergone some magic touches that it’s turned into a big mall. Flag shops everywhere. And when your feet hurts, you can rest a while in one of their coffee shops. Hmm… But that’s not why we’re here for.
Third: Famous for its close resemblance to “durian” fruit although initially built to imitate 2 microphones. Situated just at the Singapore river, theatre on the bay. It opens up overlooking the great Lion statue.
Fourth: River Boat Cruise. I imagined Jakarta’s Kalijodo was like this once, in it’s old days. Here you can rent a boat for only S$12 and have 30 minutes cruise in the river. We were ecstatic. We strolled under the bridges (I forgot the names), and see just how old some of the buildings were, especially The Fullerton House. It was built more than a century ago, and yet it emanates a very strong and distinct power about it. The lights were angled in such a way that it accentuates every single details the architect meant to show off.
Singapore river. It’s almost weird how the surrounding buildings are mostly Banks or Offices and yet, at night (especially weekends) the place is just packed with snuggling couples, and suddenly it just feels so romantic.
Fifth: Back to Esplanade with a slight detour to Merlion Park. People were dancing to the fast beat under the moonlight. K and I both have 2 left feet, so we decided it was no time for us to embarrass ourselves in a foreign country. Aww, such a shame we didn’t take any dance lessons any sooner, or we would be dancing with the rest of everyone there.

8.30pm (+/-).
Tired from all the walking and laughing (hysterically), we decided to return to home base to soak our feet and strategize for Saturday’s plan. It was around 11pm when we finally turned in. Although we were still in Jakarta time (10pm), we decided that we were dead tired. Damn, couldn’t feel our legs…

Immigration @^^#&(!**^&@&!!!

Those thieving and scheming bastards and bitches!
That’s what I shouted to myself when I met up with those people at Immigration Office.

Damn the system sucks. Never hated bureaucracy so much before.
I know right from the start that those Immigration people will cause too much trouble. And trying my best to anticipate this, I asked someone from my friend’s office to take care of my passport for me. Yep, it’s like one of those things that you wish you could just blink and have it laid safely on your desk. But I guess there’s no magic about it.

And guess what. The what-seemed-like-a-perfect-plan just fell apart completely. Somehow the person just called me up in the middle of a very hectic day (by my standard) and told me that I had to contact the immigration person myself, “Something seems to be wrong”. Turned out, those scheming people tried to take advantage of the fact that I once lost my passport, and they tried to milk out my last dime. S**t!!! I didn’t even go anywhere abroad in the past 7 years, why make such a big deal out of this, right?

The immigration officer told me to pay this ridiculous amount of money, which he said was gonna be split 6 wise to shut everyone up but I know from the heart that he’s just going to fatten himself up, well, good luck there, mate! Hope you suffer with the money you took from me. What’s worse about this is that he dragged his wife along with him. Yes, they’re both scheming people together! Imagine just what kind of babies would come out of her…

Guess what he said when I told him I didn’t have the money he asked me? “Astaghfirullah aladziim... You must think that I’m making things up and that this money I want for myself, don’t you?” (You damn right I do, mister – wish I could yell at him). After long bargaining (my Tanah Abang and Pasar Senin days finally paid off) with him, he agreed to arrange everything with half price (but that’s on top of what I gave him in the first place, you know, for just submitting all my papers…), and you know what?? Now that he agreed I paid with half the price he wanted from me, he started throwing papers at me, pointing fingers, and raised his voice with my presence. Dear Lord… what has become of this greedy country?

Anyways, things are just "perfect", especially since I still had to have my picture taken (passport photos are never complimenting…), my finger prints, and lots more of horrible waiting arounds…
Darn it. And to know that that immigration officer just shut me out and sent me to come back again for passport instead of having me wait there… That’s just great!

2 thumbs up for Indonesian Immigration Officers for making people’s lives so darn difficult.

Technology at its best

What is it about Technology? All my life, I’ve always been a laggard. I got my first cellphone long after everyone else did. VCD Players, and now DVD Players, they’re familiar in each and everyone else’s households but mine, at least not until later (way later…).

Can you blame me for cursing the “seemingly” comfortable life I lead now?

Personally, I prefer to live in the Dark Age, where people don’t know any Cellular Phones, let alone compare between GSM and CDMA. It makes my life easier (in a way). For one, I could just play innocent for arriving home late without one single word, just tell my parents “Whoops, sorry Mom, Dad, no Public Phone available”, and hope I can get off the hook. But the fact that I DO have a cellphone (working one that is), makes my life so difficult. Now I’m addicted to making phone calls, send sms back and forth for some meaningless conversations – all to my own initiatives (I might as well call them and get it over with), taking lousy resolution pictures from my camera phone and blame the person I took pictures of, saying they’re just too ugly to be in my camera phone (hahaha…), lie to my parents every time I go home late, saying that I had put my cellphone on silent mode or that I rejected their phone calls because I’m still stuck in traffic light. And second, in the end, I curse myself for overusing my cellphone and having to pay that horrendous phone bills.

More, I loved my life before Credit Card came along. Sure, no one made me apply in the first place. It was my stupid inner self, saying that I NEED Credit Card, which in the end I proved was wrong. Before the Age of Visa, I managed fine. But now, everything seems a lot easier to BUY and a lot more difficult to PAY. Yes, those conniving little Credit Card salesmen would just lurk around you, waiting for you to take out your own plastic money, and start offering heaven to you. “Umm, Miss, our Credit Card offers lower interest, balance transfer, reward points, welcoming gifts, executive lounge, free annual fee, blah blah blah” And suddenly you’re just bending forward, starting to sign your application, and hope with God’s mercy, you won’t be using them at all (hah, like that’s ever going to happen)…

What with the Internet? I’m addicted to browsing them in broad daylight now. The first thing I do when I got to my office desk is turn on my computer, and voila, the web works at its most amazing speed to feed me information at my fingertips. Little do I realize that the more I browse, the less I have time for myself to contemplate on what I want to do with the rest of my day (hahaha, I never do…).

My life was a lot easier before all these technology came along. I was doing great not knowing anything in other parts of the world (that I can find out in an instant from the web), I could save up my money and buy the things that I really really need, (and not just because I was out with friends and try to look macho and pay for their dinner bills), and I most of all, I can enjoy my quiet time without cellphone ring disrupting me (especially when it’s after office hours and the number appeared on your cell is your client’s number).

But the fact that Technology dawns to our life with this rapid rate is inevitable. All you can do is give in. And perhaps be wiser enough not to let it consume you too much…

Easy for me to say, I just decided to surrender to the magic of Technology (that only makes your life easier by taking so much from you…)

Damnit!!!

Madiun...

Madiun, where you can find the best Pecel all over Indonesia. A small city in East Jakarta that I never thought I’d ever go to. But thanks to my dear college friend, Pipit, who got married and celebrated her wedding in the city, I finally got around to visit. By the way, CONGRATULATIONS PIPIT AND RAHMAD!!!

I left from Gambir station on Friday at 18.00 and arrived at 05.00 on Saturday morning. Not much to do to kill time once I got there, especially when you can go just about anywhere in flat 15minutes (that's how long it takes to circle the whole city).
Saturday morning was Siraman. This is a very traditional Javanese wedding, mind you. So the ceremony is quite complicated. Pipit was drenched down. No less than 7 elderly relatives were honored to shower her with Air Kembang, this they say, to cleanse her inner self so she would be ready for her marriage life. I never thought I’d enjoy Javanese weddings ceremony before, but this one was very interesting. Siraman ended about time for lunch. And after helping myself for some delicious meal they have prepared for their guests, I took off.

After circling the city looking for souvenirs (what else but the famous Sambel Pecel, Brem Madiun, Madumongso, and Nting-Nting kacang), I ended up riding that poor becak with a big box full of souvenirs (still doubted myself how I’m going to take everything home, all by myself).


Saturday night was Akad Nikah or most people there call it Ijab Kabul. Pipit said her vows, and Rahmad said his, all witnesses confirmed before Penghulu, and they were legally married. The ceremony was over within 1 hour. And left me (again), wondering, how can I spend the rest of this yet still lovely evening? And sadly, I chose to go back to the hotel…


Sunday morning was yet another interesting ceremony. Temu Manten was the one ceremony in which the Bride was displayed in the “Pelaminan” while waiting for her Groom who was about to enter. As both people walk towards each other, they would have to throw this banana leaf knot to each other. They said this symbolizes who liked whom first, or perhaps, who would be dominant in the marriage. Whatever, it was a crowd! Two well-dressed people throwing things at each other, and afterwards walk side-by-side to welcome their guests. Wow…
Temu Manten also finished around noon. But this time, I was determined not to go back to the hotel but I went with some friends I met there. We had a huge lunch in Magetan. That’s only like 30 minutes from the heart of Madiun. Not much to see, but the food was great there.

1 hour before the reception, we went back to I’s place (that’s Pipit’s high school friend who also works in Jakarta now), Rp drove us all. The Reception was held at Graha Bhakti Praja, the biggest and most famous Hall in Madiun. Once we enter the room, it felt like the whole Madiun people were there. It was so crowded, and I suddenly felt so out of place. What’s a person like me doing here, all by myself. I couldn’t wait to go back home. But Rp said it would only take 5minutes from the Hall to the train station, I better wait there.

Anyway...
22.00 Sunday night. It’s finally time for me to go back home. Jakarta, here I come!!!

What can I say about Madiun? The fact that it made me miss the fast paced and crowded Jakarta? Or that I spent the whole weekend there (almost) all by myself (no thanks to a certain person who cancelled 3 hours before the departure…)?
Or is it the fact that it made me realize just how good I felt riding Becak and felt the hard wind blowing my un-made hair? Or simply that I enjoyed the serene city, and that I enjoyed the wedding ceremony so much, that I want to shout to that dear friend “Hey, Kn, you missed A LOT!”

Jakarta...
I would never trade living in this high crime rate city nor would I trade having to storm the traffic for like 1.5 hours (max) before I get to work, nope, not for that too tranquil town.
But, you know, one day I wouldn’t say no to coming back there again, and perhaps this time, I’m not going to miss Jakarta so soon…

Thanks Pit...

Aaarrrggghhh....................

So today is one of those days that could just turn your entire mood off.
The fact that I'm bearing the most mind numbing job in the whole world is one thing. But the fact that today everyone else seems to be enjoying themselves is another.

The announcement today about our company (worldwide) is going through a joint venture sounds appealing at first. Wow, we'll have opportunity to be transferred overseas (hahaha, you wish). But somehow the longer we sit and let the words seep in, the more I'm convinced that it's time to move on (or at least die trying)...

Do you ever feel that you’re not sufficient enough, even for yourself? Well, the road is about to open wide in that direction. Every single (better) companies I applied to in the past month has been either sending me a rejection letter, or simply play the cool and ignorant recruitment people who could not care less about peoples’ feelings and decide to just not give any words after 3 interviews. That’s just great. And the saddest part is, no matter how hard I try to console myself (by saying: “It’s their loss, you’ve got the whole potential, and if they didn’t realize it, well, there are still a million other jobs out there, waiting for you to give your best work and prove yourself worthy of their handsome compensation package”), somewhere deep inside me shouts: “Loser…” Damnit, wish I were deaf, and can pretend I didn’t hear it…

I ran into a couple of long lost friends (from High school) during lunch this afternoon. And the “best” of my day has just begun. Guess what, one of them is getting married next February. That’s like the 3 friends (just from that clique alone) to get married this year. Darn it! And what are the odds of this happening when I just had a serious break up with someone that has been in my life for 5 years? Okay, I know I should be happy for her. But when is my turn? Will I have to wait another 5 years just to face another disappointing end? I know I’m not gonna marry someone whom I just met and know for less than a month, heck, I’m not that hasty. But help me, I need to see the light, please…

So, what I’m feeling right now is .......... .......... .......... .......... ..........

First Page

Okay...

So I have this wide and blank page. I mean, what should I do?
Heck, beats me. Just trying to get some writing done.

Hmm, is it true that you can judge a person by their writing?
Well, don't jump into that conclusion about me just yet. This is the first page.

Be back with more.

Oh, and by the way, thanks for introducing Blogger.com to me, Arie.
Will surely make the best use of it.

Later then...