Aaarrrggghhh....................

So today is one of those days that could just turn your entire mood off.
The fact that I'm bearing the most mind numbing job in the whole world is one thing. But the fact that today everyone else seems to be enjoying themselves is another.

The announcement today about our company (worldwide) is going through a joint venture sounds appealing at first. Wow, we'll have opportunity to be transferred overseas (hahaha, you wish). But somehow the longer we sit and let the words seep in, the more I'm convinced that it's time to move on (or at least die trying)...

Do you ever feel that you’re not sufficient enough, even for yourself? Well, the road is about to open wide in that direction. Every single (better) companies I applied to in the past month has been either sending me a rejection letter, or simply play the cool and ignorant recruitment people who could not care less about peoples’ feelings and decide to just not give any words after 3 interviews. That’s just great. And the saddest part is, no matter how hard I try to console myself (by saying: “It’s their loss, you’ve got the whole potential, and if they didn’t realize it, well, there are still a million other jobs out there, waiting for you to give your best work and prove yourself worthy of their handsome compensation package”), somewhere deep inside me shouts: “Loser…” Damnit, wish I were deaf, and can pretend I didn’t hear it…

I ran into a couple of long lost friends (from High school) during lunch this afternoon. And the “best” of my day has just begun. Guess what, one of them is getting married next February. That’s like the 3 friends (just from that clique alone) to get married this year. Darn it! And what are the odds of this happening when I just had a serious break up with someone that has been in my life for 5 years? Okay, I know I should be happy for her. But when is my turn? Will I have to wait another 5 years just to face another disappointing end? I know I’m not gonna marry someone whom I just met and know for less than a month, heck, I’m not that hasty. But help me, I need to see the light, please…

So, what I’m feeling right now is .......... .......... .......... .......... ..........