Wake Up Call

My sis called last night.
She woke me up. Poked me hard on my head.
Got me thinking…

What if what she said was true?

Have I been building my castles in the air?
Have I been hanging my life by the thread?
Have I been wishing for the impossible?
Have I been kidding myself?
Have I been wasting my time for the idea of my happiness?

What if all this time, the only reason was that he didn’t love me?
What if all this time, I’ve been dreaming?


She said she saw him with others.
Yes, I too shared a fragment of my life with someone.
Someone who in the end only made me love him more.
Someone who in the end only made me wish for that happiness, yet again.

Does he share his smile with those others?
Does he share his laughter with them?
Does he share his stories, his tears, his uneasiness, his turmoils?
Does he share his heart to them?


What if it’s all true?


“Aarggh….. Stop your whiny ass, Ret!”
“Get a grip of yourself.”
“He doesn’t love you, period.”
“It’s time you move on and wipe that sulky face off of you.”
“You’re not doing anybody any good.”
“There are millions of other guys out there. And if you don’t try to find yourself one right now, you might never will.”
“Shop around. Get as many door prizes on your way before you hit the jackpot. Before you get the grand prize.”


It’s such a slap on my face.
It’s cold, bitter, and harsh.
And what’s worse, my sister didn’t say all these words.

I did.