Wednesday, January 12, 2005

A Wanna-Be

I read my best friend’s blog that she posted yesterday.
I read my other best friend’s short story that he sent to me this morning.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer.
And I’ve always considered myself talented (or something to that extent).
People (my friends and my family, of course) even encouraged me to pursue this dream.

But suddenly after I finished reading their composition, I feel like such a wanna-be.
Nothing more than a dreamer.

A mere sidekick in one of those heroic stories, someone who is there for the sake of her presence. She doesn’t do much. She just lives up the day by her wit.
She just dreams to become the real hero, but at the end of the day has to wake up to the fact that reality bites. That she’s only good for swinging canes and not really bash the bad guys with swords.


I read a line by Eleanor Roosevelt last night (thanks for the book, Rie…).
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”

I was lifted up for a moment. I should try and try and try to better myself.
But what if it’s my own inner self that shouts “Hey, you’re no good, man!”
What if all this time, I’ve been undermining myself? What if all this time, I’ve been doing everything that it takes to sabotage my own personal development?

What if I’m the reason to my own low self-confidence? To all my failures?


Darnit…


I hate waking up startled like this…

1 Comments:

At 9:18 AM, Blogger Kikie said...

Just so you know...

I always consider you to be a better writer than I do!! Seriously.

Look at, carefully, at your blog and then, mine! :D

We're all dreamers Ret!

 

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