Nothingness

It’s still.
And quiet.

I’m cruising in my own thoughts, floating in my own imagination.
Afloat amongst the crowd surrounding me.
Yet still I feel alone.

I want to squirm in my own warmth of joy. I want to fight against my own desperation.
But I only came out wriggling in the heat of boundless hopes.
I wonder. Why does it itch so bad to stay still? To stay motionless?
Is it because the rest of the world stays dynamic, and constantly changing?
Is this how it feels to be numb?

The days went by.
There’s nothing I could possibly hope for to change.
Yes, everything remains the same.
Except for all other things that I indeed want to stay like they used to be.

Crumbs of challenge. That’s all I ask for.
I’m not gonna ask for the Everest.
I’m not gonna ask for the Antarctic Ocean.
I’m merely thirsty for new experience.
Interesting ones.

And yet, it all seems a world away.
It all seems next to impossible.

And now, I’m all alone.
Fighting my boredom to death.

Fighting this nothingness with all my might.

Let’s hope I succeed.