Me and My Hollow Tin Chest

I was standing there, waiting in line, all by myself.
The red carpet meant that we, the invitees were honored to be in the room.
To share the joy between two people.

But why did I not feel honored at all?
Why did I feel ashamed instead?
I was trying to rid all eyes that stared at me.
Yes, I did know some of them.
And yes, I was trying so hard not to raise questions.
I wasn’t lucky.

Tired.
Hurt.
Sad.

Last year, I attended a similar ceremony.
Of a very dear friend of mine.
Alone.
And now, the same thing happened again.
Yet I was alone.
Again.

I guess that will be my label, pretty soon now.
Now that I have decided deep in my heart that perhaps shedding yet another tear for someone who loves himself more is not worth it.
It’s merely useless…

I just want to love myself now.
Because all others are futile.
All others are…
Vain.